Is this thing on?

Hey everyone! First let me say thanks to all of our friends and family who have been listening to our test episodes and being patient as we try to figure this whole podcast thing out. And that's actually a good lead in to what I want to talk about today.

You see, when Dane and I started talking about doing this whole thing one thing troubled me, how was I going to sound on audio? I mean that in multiple ways, firstly, I don't like the sound of my voice recorded. I think I sound weird, which I know is normal, but I mean, come on! My voice makes me sound like I'm constantly stoned! But also, WHAT was my voice going to be? How was my personality going to come across to listeners? Would they see me as knowledgeable or pompous? Chilled out or aloof? I mean I CAN be any or all of those things and I'd hate for people to get the wrong impression of me.

Maybe this is why a lot of my favorite podcast hosts are consistent with their voice and personality, you only get one first impression for each listener. There are a lot of words I'd use to describe my personality, and consistent wouldn't exactly be high on that list. 

Let me say it now, I can be all over the place. But what I'm hoping for is that me expressing myself can be entertaining for you!

I know the only thing I can be is myself. I just hope that you guys, the listeners, will learn to understand who I am, and maybe I can learn a thing or two as well.


-Pete M.

Emotional Uncertainty

This weekend is my wife's birthday. She passed on September 10, 2016, due to complications from kidney disease, and the subsequent months have been turbulent for me, to say the least. I quit my job, struggled with depression, lost friends, and questioned myself constantly. 10 years of life together, brought to an end... what do you do when your life is stripped out from under you? I don't really have an answer because I've just been improvising. Every decision I make feels like it's on the fly, and that's been harrowing. It's taken months to feel like I have any direction at all, but I believe I'm, at last, retrieving the reins. First, I've made arrangements to return to school this fall. Thanks to the loving support of my family, I have an opportunity to improve myself in a huge way and I couldn't be more excited. Second, I've gotten involved with a lovely woman. She's been incredibly kind and patient with me, as well as surprisingly insightful, so I count myself very lucky to have met her. Finally, this site and podcast has been instrumental in my recovery. It's given me tons to learn, and taken a lot of practice. I'm so anxious to finally be releasing our project to the public! I can't wait to hear what people have to say about it (though to think that it'll be successful or wide spread is quite far-fetched, but who knows?). I'm looking forward to writing here regularly as well as posting the weekly podcasts. At any rate, I think that'll do... quite the tonal shift from how I opened this. Hm. 

-Dane B.